The last week has hit me like a ton of bricks, but tonight and last night really hit home. Yes I had my heart broken, but I half way did it to myself. Last night I realized how much the children we brought into this are also heartbroken and it doesn’t seem to be getting any better for them. Last night I kept the lil girl that should be my step daughter. She crawled up in the couch next to me and held on for dear life. I wept because I saw the pain and confusion we have caused them all. All babies I love dearly and I would die for and I was a big part in causing them pain. His family is already my family. His nephew my sons bff. His sister and mom 2 of my bffs. No matter what we are tied together. Tonight his mom had to go to the hospital and I went to pick up the lil boy I consider my third son so he could take his mom to hospital. He may never forgive me he may never come back but reguardless we are tied as family. His daughter needs me and I need her too. My son needs him and I want my son to have him. I love them all and honestly if I have to let him go that is Gods plan. And God has greater things planned for us both. But I will hold onto the family I had already found. I will be there for his kids and I will be there for him. My heart may not heal back to perfect but it will always be filled with an abundance of love!